I allowed myself to be overcome with my lowest, most primal emotions.......
With regards to my "twin flame"...........
I allowed myself to become more than anger and upset, I was filled with hatred and wished him death! I reread two posts he put up on Instagram about gifts I gave him for his birthday. He did not even acknowledge me or mention my name in the posts. He simply said that "spirit" will give you what you ask for and "someone very dear to his heart" gave him the gifts. WOW! He has never acknowledged me publicly....never. Even in my other blog, "The Life and Times of Juicah Jones" (https://lifeandtimesofjuicahjones.blogspot.com/), he never acknowledged me either. I was always his dirty little secret....the secret that he always came to when he needed love, compassion, the greatest fuck of a lifetime or anything else that he was searching for but could only find with me. Why should now be any different? Like I always say, "Niggas don't change!" and that is the fucking truth! Not even the one you think is your "Divine Masculine".
I became infuriated with this and I sent him a message, text message and voice message telling him that I needed the money back he owes me NOW because I have an emergency. This mother fucker writes me back over 4 hours later, not even asking me if I am ok or what is wrong. He tells me that he is sorry that things have escalated and he has not been able to pay me the money because he used everything he had to go to his Peru trip and he does not get paid until the 21st. WHAT?
Now, when he needed the money, I did everything in my fucking power to get it to him to help him and he was experiencing an emergency as well. The money I lent him was used to pay off the parking violations his wife accrued on his car and if they were not paid off, he would not be able to work driving Lyft or Uber. His license would probably have been revoked and he would have had to pay more money just to get it back in good standing. So now that I am in a crunch, he can't even pay me back the money he owes me, or borrow from someone else to even help me out a little. What a selfish irresponsible fuck? I can't believe this. You mean to tell me that this fucking bastard only thinks about himself to the point that he borrows money from me and does not pay me back because he uses the money he should have paid me back with to go to Peru? Why am I so surprised when he did the same thing in May when he went downsouth to fuck someone from his passed instead of paying me back the money he owed me. SMMFH! I bet he didn't even think twice about me needing the money and he went right back to doing what ever the fuck he is doing in Peru as if I never even text him!
Why? Because I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THE WORDS THAT HE SAID TO ME ABOUT HOW MUCH HE CHERISHES ME, HOW MUCH HE LOVES ME AND CARES FOR ME AND IS IN LOVE WITH ME were true. But that just goes to show you, PAY ATTENTION TO HOW PEOPLE TREAT YOU, NOT THE HOT AIR THAT COMES OUT OF THEIR MOUTH!
I am fucking hot..............I can't even find words to really express how hurt I feel................mother fucker selfish bastard! Yes, I am a spiritual being, lol but I am fucking pissed. I want him to...............grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......This hurts me to my fucking core......so bad I cried all the way home!
Here I go again!
This is the last time. I have had to try my hardest not to continuously wish him pain and death!
I really don't think I am going to ever speak with him again after this. He really showed me that he give 0 fucks about me..............AT ALL.........ON ANY LEVEL!
The real question is..........Do I give any fucks about me? If I do, I will eliminate him from the equation of my life! Let's see where this goes!
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