So, it has been some time since I last wrote to you bff...that is because I was trying to get my shit together so I would not hurt my so called Twin Flame in any way by sharing his fucked up treatment of me. I am really tired of this shit........the shit of not sharing. WHY? Because my pain, challenges and experiences can really and truly help someone else in the most profound way. After all, one of my mottos is "If I did it, I will admit it!" Too bad other people don't live by the same motto! Instead they live trying to act like they live their lives for the greater good of all, but in reality they are living a very selfish life in which they use the ones closest to them. Yes, !@%$#^@#% 9 (I want to call your name out so bad so everyone can know who you are) I am talking about you and how you have mistaken my kindness for weakness...."Lord, he does not know what he has done!"
Anyway, if we are here to share, learn and experience things, it is time for me to stop saving his face.......
Again.....I allowed some fucked up shit to happen to me.......I allowed him to come back in and do some even more fucked up shit to me.........taking my kindness for granted.......using me.....taking my money to go fuck someone who gave him a spiritual demon!!! SMMFH! I really wonder why I even let him back in.........but the fact of the matter is........that is the past and once again I am in a situation where my feeling are hurt and he is out living his life............acting like I don't matter. Now, he tells me some bullshit.........bullshit like, "I wouldn't know where I would be without you" and shit like that...........who the fuck wants to hear anything like that if your actions don't match it. So fucking tire of going through this shit with him! And to make matters worse, it is not even him, it is me. If I did not compromise my integrity........I wouldn't be where I am now.....but then again! All things for our growth and betterment. So, Beloved (I am only using this word because I don't want to say your real name), I forgive you, because I know you don't know what you are doing and it is not my place to hold on to all of this pain that I feel because of your mistreatment of me. I have faith and know that God got me! So I give it all to Mother/Father Goddess/God........yes, I forgive you and you have taught me too! Taught me to NEVER COMPROMISE MY INTEGRITY again!
"No matter how our paths may unfold" (some bullshit he wrote me in a text he sent me yesterday). I hope you read this! Let's see if you have the fucking courage to say something to me about this or anything else! Knowing you, you probably will say some shit to me, but then again, what can you say, I have been nothing but kind, gracious, compassionate and loving towards you IN ALL OF YOUR TIMES OF NEED (which ironically are all of the times you have come to me with sugar coated words and proclamations of "being in love with me and loving me", proclamations that "We are going to be together")....can you say the same? Have I ever come to you and used you to get what I needed, to get money from you to go fuck some dude from my past or pay off my ex-husband's debt he accrued under my name or any other underhanded why you got over on me? What a spiritual path you are walking, lol!!!
I still forgive you, cause you sure ain't worth none of my energy any more! So much for Twin Flame connections, or any connection with you for that matter....lol!
Love you!
Lord, please forgive him, for he knows not what he had done!
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